Hygiene Education 104: Even MORE Stuff to Wash

I’ve been slacking on this whole hygiene education stuff. It’s because finished work for the summer, and am now getting more of my own education. Every day for three weeks of indoor freezing my toes off in the air conditioning while it’s gorgeously hot outside and the rest of the world is at the lake education. It better be worth it.

Have no fear, I am back with more ways for you to not be disgusting! THRILLED, you must be!

Hygiene Education 104: Even MORE Stuff to Wash

Clothes

Guess what. Big news. Earth shattering bulletin coming your way. Even if you shower with soap once a day, putting on dirty clothes will still result in you smelling wretched. Someone I know once washed their clothes, forgot about them in the washer for two weeks. TWO WEEKS. They were moldy. He bought new clothes. This is not the proper way to wash your clothes. I heard of a friend of a friend who buys buttloads of Febreeze. This is not the proper way to wash your clothes. In fact, there was no washing involved. I know people who wear clothes, then let the stink “air out” for a week or so before wearing them again. Again, no washing involved. If you struggle with this concept, read carefully.

First, separate by colour. Next, load into washer. Then add soap. Next wash. Finally, put in dryer or hang to dry. Once your clothes are dry, hang them in a closet or fold them and place in a drawer. THIS IS NOT DIFFICULT. Reread if necessary.

But Amanda, I do wash my clothes! I really do! I just don’t wash them all the time. Clearly I’m not going to wash every article of clothing after every time I wear it. That just seems unnecessary.

You’re right. It likely is. I think you can get away with wearing jeans multiple times before washing. Some jeans improve with each wear. Other jeans will be too loosey goosey and may fall off if they’re not washed and dried back into shape. But wait. Can you see wing sauce from last week’s boys night and mustard from today’s ham sammich? Time to wash. Bury your face in the pits of your t-shirt. Did you gag? Time to wash. Did you buy a school hoodie in first year, and it’s now fourth year and it hasn’t seen the inside of a washing machine? Time to wash. Did you mix clean laundry with dirty laundry? Time to wash all of it. Don’t get mad at me, you’re the one who didn’t put your laundry away. Did you sweat profusely? Time to wash. Did it spent time on your bathroom floor and you’re not sure if it’s clean or dirty? When in doubt, time to wash.

But Amanda! I’m not loaded! I can’t afford to pay all those expensive water bills or use up all of those quarters! I need to call MeMaw with those quarters!

I bet if you manned up and visited MeMaw, she’d let you get off with only calling her once a week. Quarters saved. Plus, she might do your laundry. I don’t know how MeMaw got involved. Just roll with it. MeMaw says you smell. Go do your laundry.

Bedding

I’m going to rock some boats with this one.

Wash your sheets. More often than you think is necessary. In a perfect world, I’d suggest once a week. But let’s not be unrealistic. Once every two weeks. At least. You might stretch it to a month. But that’s really pushing it.

Think about it. You wear clothes for approximately 16 hours a day. You normally wash those clothes after wearing them once (if you don’t, you skipped some reading, my friend). Those clothes are touching your skin. You wash them. Let’s say (in a perfect world) you spend the remaining 8 hours of your day sleeping. In your bed. On your sheets. Those sheets are touching your skin (if you sleep in your birthday suit). By my calculations, naked sleepers should wash their sheets every two days. Pajama sleepers, stretch it to a week. Make sense? YES. I thought so.

You spend time in your bed. Why not make it clean, too? If you still think I’m being unreasonable about the once a week thing and you suffer from acne, consider just washing your pillowcases once a week. Pillowcases! They touch your face for 8 hours straight! If you didn’t wash off your make up (you skipped a post!) then your face is all smothered in dirty oily make up-y mess. Pillowcases! They’re small! Not difficult! I am certain you’ll see results.

And your room will smell prettier. I promise.

Lavatory

Is this considered being hygienic or just cleanly? I don’t know. But if your bathroom  is one small step above the gas station bathroom and the only reason your bathroom is better than the gas station bathroom isn’t because it’s cleaner, but it’s because you don’t have to ask an attendant to borrow a key on a giant stick and then return said key on said giant stick to said attendant after finishing your business, you should clean it.

I hope you took notes. If you didn’t, please bookmark this page for reference. Mmkay. Thanks.

What do you think about today’s hygiene lecture? Agree or disagree with me?

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