We had the privilege of helping out with VBS at my church this past week. Over 200 kids showed up, and it was a ridiculous, fun nut house. So exhausting, but very worth it. Joseph and I both had groups of Kindergarten kids that we were in charge of. It was…interesting, to say the very least. These are some pretty incredible kids!
Mom Friend was telling a story about the Roman soldier who had a sick servant. She was giving them instructions that they had to follow like soldiers would (attention, halt, about face, march). The kids took turns giving the instructions.
Z: March! Halt! Abouty face!
Me: What do you know about God?
Everyone: You can trust God!
D: NO YOU CAN’T (our good nature was running out by this point in the day!)
Me: Why aren’t you running and screaming?
D: My mom said I can’t scream.
Me: Oh, she probably means inside. But you’re at VBS and outside, and you’re allowed to scream here!
D: Oh! (takes off running and screaming)
Z (stroking Joseph’s beard): You need to shave!
Leader: We’re going to play another fun game!
Joseph’s kids: NOOOOOOO!
N to Joseph: Can you hold this bottle cap I found?
J: Suuuure (putting the Bud Light bottle cap in his pocket)
Me: Why aren’t you running?
D: I don’t know those guys!
E, midweek: Can I have a nap?
Z: I don’t like port-a-potties.
After the story station:
C (who is never quiet) to Joseph: Was I quiet?
Our groups were sitting near each other and drinking chocolate milk (Joseph’s group):
Joseph: I’m allergic to milk, too.
N: Yeah, I’m allergic to dairy.
Joseph: But that’s what milk is.
C: I’m allergic to only white milk.
D (eating marshmallows in my group): I’m allergic to marshmallows.
There’s a horse on my street.
Teacher: So after they arrested Jesus, who did they take him to see?
Kid: THE BOSS.
Teacher, holding up a crown of thorns: What did they do with this?
Kid: THEY PUT IT ON HIS HEAD. (please reread using the Will Ferrell SNL voice immodulation skit voice)
One of Joseph’s little ones collided with another and suffered some minor injuries that were remedied with a freezie. Another boy had some things to say.
C: Can I have a freezie?
Joseph: No, you’d have to ask your mom or dad when they come pick you up.
C: Oh, on the way here, my mom said I could have one.
J: No, I mean, when you’re at home you have to ask for one at home.
C: No, my mom said I could have one at the church.
Z, taking Joseph’s nametag: I want to take this. I’m Joseph now.
D (singing on the way down the stairs): You can trust God, defindindeeeeee!