Right Now

Things have been a little quiet around these parts. I’m not burned out on the internet. I’m not taking a break from blogging. I’m still busy with things of the sort. I write on a weekly basis for TV Asylum. I’m working on a few projects that you’ll see one day. I write lengthy emails to friends who are scattered about the world. I still write often.

The things you find around here are usually ridiculous and silly. I love that the fun I have writing stuff in turn makes people smile. I love that what I love to do makes someone’s day a little bit brighter. Sometimes though, life is not all bright and silly. Sometimes it’s really difficult. It’s dark. It’s scary. It’s real.

That’s when the words come all at once. Too many words. Too many to write down and to contain on one page. I don’t have writer’s block. I have writer’s rush. It’s overwhelming. I have so much to say, all at once. It’s jumbled.

Right now I have no idea what my job situation holds. Lots of governmental changes coming about. Rumblings of a strike. Uncertainty of job positions.

Right now most of my closest “heart friends” are scattered all over the world. These are the friends that make your heart happy, no matter the circumstance. Jackson, Winnipeg, Dominican Republic, Kentucky, Boston, Uganda…they’re hogging the people that know me best and make my heart the happiest.

Right now a woman from my parents’ church (a place full of people I consider family) is in her last days of life. A mom of two young kids. A wife. A daughter.

Right now there is a thirteen year old girl from my parents’ church in the hospital. On May 17th, when she was getting off of the school bus, she was struck by a garbage truck. She’s suffered major injuries and has been in a coma ever since.

Right now a lot of heavy stuff is happening. I could keep writing a list, but it would be too long.

Right now there is heartache and pain. Right now there is brokenness. Right now there is despair. Right now there is a God who is aching more than we are. Right now there is a God who holds everything in his hand. Right now there is a God who is whispering in the stillness, “Just wait and see what I’m going to do with this!”

Right now if you drive around our city, you will see lime green ribbons tied around posts, trees, porches, vehicles…everywhere. It’s impossible to go anywhere and not see a ribbon. They represent this sweet girl. They shout Lydia’s name. Right now if you look up the hashtag #PrayForLydia on Twitter, you will find dozens and dozens of tweets dedicated to her. Tweets, prayers, emails, Facebook groups, fundraisers, even a call to pray for her in a House of Commons meeting…all of this to support Lydia and her family. All the while proclaiming that God is doing good things…and will continue to do so.

We live in the Right Now. We want it to be over Right Now. We want the pain to stop Right Now. We want to be happy Right Now. We want things to make sense Right Now. We want healing to come Right Now. We want to be restored Right Now.

We say Right Now. God says Not Yet. We ask When. He says Soon. Stop and listen. Be still.  Hear him whisper, “Just wait and see what I am going to do with this!”

Reading over Lydia’s mother Michelle’s blog screams of this truth. We do not make the decisions. We do not call the shots. We can’t speed up the process. Some things don’t happen Right Now.

From Michelle’s entry on June 4:

“In one blog, I misspelled coma, and said she was in a comma.  There is much truth to that statement as well.  A comma calls for a slight pause, a separation of sentence elements.  Our lives have been separated into before May 17, 2012, and after, just as we felt on the day she was born, that our lives would never be the same again.  We do not know the gift we will be given when Lydia emerges from the coma; if she will be fully restored to us, as she was before, or if a new Lydia will be ours to love.  One thing we do know, this pause, or lapse of time, is full of the workings of our God.  We trust Him for the gift He will give to us, in His time.”

Not Yet.

Soon.

Just wait and see what He’s going to do with this!

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27 thoughts on “Right Now

  1. Sadly, glorification is one of the things we think of the least when it comes to God. One pastor I heard recently called it the forgotten “ification” of Christianity, but it really is equally as beautiful as justification and sanctification. I can’t help but think of Revelation 21:4 which says “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Then in verse 5 he says “Behold, I am making all things new.” I mean – the thought of that is amazing! God himself personally wiping away the tears of every believer, every one of his people.

    And yeah, love the part about God hurting with his people. That just makes the end more beautiful for me – it’s easy to sit outside of troubles and just say “oh, well, it’ll be ok in the end” but when you’re in the middle of it yourself, that just doesn’t cut it. But especially as it pertains to death, God himself is one who identifies with those who has lost a loved one. He, too, is one who has lost a son. So if anyone knows what that feels like, it is God.

    But through it all, he is near. And for all the tension between the “now” and the “not yet,” he offers us comfort in Matthew 28:20 – “And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

  2. Mandie, wow, the timing of this blog just hit home so hard. This past weekend was the one year anniversary of Taylor Mae Stinchcomb’s death. She was the daugther of very good friends, and at age 15 took off in her mother’s van with her beloved doberman who was suffering from advanced cancer to avoid the inevitable euthanasia. After driving about for awhile she asked her 15 year old friend to take the wheel and drive them back home. A mile from home the van went off the road at a high rate of speed at hit a tree. Taylor and the dog died that day, together forever. Such a tragedy.

    Her parents are people of God and he gave them the strength to carry on through the weeks that followed, with literally thousands of people at her wake and the celebration of her life. All generous donations were put to use in a foundation in her name for the youth ministry at the church.

    This past weekend was a huge gathering at the park behind the church with food and fun for pets and people too. Again, very generous donations were made. Taylor’s presence was everywhere. Her favorite color was lime green, and at her funeral and then again last weekend hundreds of ballooon were released to fly to heaven honoring her. Lime green has been very prevalent around these parts the past year, and I have been honored to wear it.

    I just wanted to say that if it wasn’t for God in their lives, I don’t think this family would have made it through. I thank God for giving them strength, and just know that he had a higher purpose for Taylor, which is evident in our community.

  3. This is wonderful.
    You are wonderful
    God’s given you such a talent and it makes me happy to see you praise him in such a way.
    Thanks for this.

  4. From the depths of our hearts, thank you. Today has been a “not yet” day at the hospital for us. We are learning to put aside our “right now” and surrender to the One who can sustain us one day at time.
    Peace to you, and thank you for writing so deeply.
    James and Michelle Herrle

  5. I also grieve that right now there’s suffering and heartache, but am with you on waiting for God who says, “Just wait and see what I’m going to do with this!” Great perspective, Amanda. Will be praying for this to be what happens with Lydia, and praying for those affected by the pain in each of these situations.

  6. Mandie: Right now I feel much better after reading your post! This came from the heart and I could feel it as I read along the lines. Sometimes, I want things to happen right now, but I need to have patience. Everything will unfold in due time, at least this is what I tell myself.
    I hope that everything turns out okay with the girl from your parents church. Our life can be changed in the blink of an eye and is that why we should enjoy every moment.

  7. Pingback: Green Ribbon Ending « The Greatest Blog Of All Time

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