Things That Most People Think Are Dumb But Amanda Thinks Are Awesome: Part 4

This is a risky topic.

I write about it with boldness, no apologizes. I run the risk of losing the affections of those who disagree with me. I’m going to polarize the internet world with this post alone. It’s going to be dangerous, but like my boyfriend said once (I think his dad said it first, but I can’t be too sure), “If you’re not living on the edge, then you’re taking up too much room.” I’m creeping dangerously close to the edge, internets. I refuse to take up an unnecessary amount of space. Why do you think I didn’t choose to grow taller than 5’2″? It’s because I’m so dang considerate, that’s why. I don’t want to take up space. So I live on the edge. With this post.

Before I begin, and before you metaphorically stomp out of here in disgust, let me point out that this is a Things That Most People Think Are Dumb But Amanda Thinks Are Awesome post, NOT a Things That Everyone Thinks Are Awesome And Amanda Does too post. I realize that I might offend and anger. But I’m willing to stand up for what I believe.

Internets, the time has come for me to confess something.

 

Deep breath.

 

Ahem.

 

I like – no – LOVE

 

Marshmallow Peeps.

 

THERE. I said it. And do you know what? IT FEELS GREAT. I love Marshmallow Peeps. I do. I know it’s irrational. I know that I don’t appear to be classy when I say this. Candy that can only be found at Dollarama is probably not of high caliber. People who eat Peeps are the people who spend time in Walmart (but not our Walmart. Those people are Mennonites). People who eat Peeps are probably the same people who buy Kraft Singles plastic cheese slices. I know that the Peep-loving part of the population is likely not refined. But the sugar is. And how I love me some refined sugar.

I can trace my love affair with the sugar coated gelatin treats back to my early years. I played at a friend’s house, and she had sleeves upon sleeves of Peeps. Being the cautious allergy-ridden child, I read the ingredients and was thrilled to see that they were in fact gluten free and therefore safe for my consumption. I ate one. It was ok. I ate another. It was ok. Then we put one in the microwave (there wasn’t exactly wonderful parental supervision at this friend’s house) and watched it grow. The outside was crunchy and the inside, gooey. It was like roasting a marshmallow over a campfire, but without the fire smell and with more sugar. Coloured sugar. Needless to say, I was intrigued. Not hooked, but intrigued. The next week I returned to the house to find an open sleeve of Peeps. The same Peeps from my last rendez vu. I was disappointed but ate one anyway. And then I discovered how much more satisfyingly glorious stale Peeps were than fresh ones.

Gross, right? I know. It’s completely bizarre and twisted. But I love Marshmallow Peeps. They are marshmallowy without being too dense, sugar coated and colourful for the young at heart and have tiny crunchy eyes for a little texture surprise. I can down a sleeve without thinking. It’s a guilty pleasure. Except I don’t feel guilty at all. You want me to devour you little Marshmallowy friends? Why I’d be DELIGHTED.

I could keep developing my defense of the little darlings, my Peeps platform, if you will, but I won’t. Why?

Because:

What is your position on Peeps?

GUEST POST: Things That Most People Think Are Dumb But Sharideth Thinks Are Awesome

Sharideth is an internet friend who writes a witty (and deliciously sarcastic) blog about men. Or is it about women? It’s a blog about women, for men. Written by a woman. And it’s fantastic. I have guest posted a couple of times (read the most recent one here) and here she is gracing the likes of mine. Very exciting day, internets! Sharideth plays a mean game of pool (so I hear) and has two kids (so I hear) and a husband with a beard (I’ve seen pictures).

Sharideth prefaced her “TTMPTADBSTAA post with “prepare to be fully offended” so you know it’s going to be good. Especially if you like Canada.

Without further ado….

*   *   *   *   *


something sharideth thinks is awesome, but other people think is dumb:  Canada

when i was brainstorming what thing in particular i find awesome that most people think is dumb, i had to go to the authority.  my husband.  there are just so many, i couldn’t narrow it down.  my whole world revolves around things other people think are dumb.

but then we hit on gold.

Canada.

you heard me.

Craig, my husband, saw a documentary on how scientists are mapping the human genome.  they’ve found that chimpanzees and humans are only separated by a couple of chromosomes, but that humans and Canadians are separated by like five or six.

jagged little pill to swallow?  for reals.

still, i completely heart Canada.  my family and i went to BC three to four times a year when i was growing up.  their attempt at castles is adorable.  almost makes up for Nickleback.

but they did give us Rush.  who doesn’t love Rush?  and let me just say for the record, Canadian pop music has brought me no end of joy.  it is so incredibly terrible, you can’t help but embrace it.  exhibit a:

a mime?  really?  amazing.

Canada is like America’s kid brother.  it’s okay for us to pick on him, but we’ll totally noogie anyone else who tries.

have i mentioned Canada is gorgeous?  well, it is.  it has that hot-chick-who-gets-left-home-on-prom-night thing going on.  type in Quebec City in Google images sometime.  you’ll want to move there.

did i just infer in the last two paragraphs that Canada is transgendered?  my apologies.

Canada also gives us plenty of cold air.  which is only fair since we give them all the hot air they can stomach.  it’s a real prince among countries.  but not Prince William.  more like Prince Harry.  only without the questionable paternity.

i think Canada is awesome.  i really do.  i don’t care if they gave us Justin Beiber.  we gave them Miley Cyrus.  fair’s fair.  they also give us some of the nicest people i’ve ever met and have a lock on hospitality.  i’ll have words with anyone who bashes on Canada.

except my husband.  he still thinks Canada is dumb.  but i can’t afford marriage therapy, so…

how do you feel about Canada, eh?  see what i did there?

what about Canada do you think is awesome?  what do you think is dumb?

>Things That Most People Think Are Dumb But Amanda Thinks Are Awesome: Part 3

>Yesterday I had the privilege of visiting a group of people whom I only get to see about once a year. I say privilege because I absolutely love this day of the year. The purpose of seeing these people is not just to see them, but to benefit from their knowledge. They are experts. They are professionals. They are good at what they do. I look forward to my appointment.

Ladies and gentlemen, I love going to the dentist. This is the absolute truth.

My dentist’s office is in a little town outside of the city. Since I’m not driving a total of and hour and half to university and back anymore, I now welcome long and leisurely drives. I pump the tunes and take the back country roads. On said drive, I like to count the number of horse and buggies that I pass. This number is usually pretty high. And guess what? Some of those Mennonites are making their way to my dentist. Because they know he’s awesome. Mennonites know awesome when they see it.

When I arrive at the office, I am greeted by my lovely hygienist, Cindy. She’s a gem. I have never once experienced the things Tyler Stanton has experienced. She’s sweet and chatty (but not overly so). Even though I only see her once a year, she remembers details about me and always has something kind and encouraging to say. Yesterday she inquired about my theatre experience because she had read an article about the play I was in back in November. NOVEMBER. It is now March. That’s a long time to keep information stored about a person you see once a year. Nice work, Cindy.

After Cindy, my dentist comes for a visit. I’m sure he’s doing actual work, but it feels like just a visit. He is exceptionally gentle and you hardly notice he’s doing anything. Again, he always has a questions for me and it never feels like I’m having a conversation with someone I only see once a year. When he looks at my teeth, he raves about their beauty. He makes me feel like my teeth are the only ones in the room. He makes it worthwhile to brush and floss religiously. After my appointment, I’m certain he goes home and writes poetry about my teeth.

When he is finished, he hands me a toothbrush and says, “Keep doing such a good job.” And then he flashes me a smile and winks. It’s magical.

I know you’re jealous, and that’s ok. When you go to the dentist, you have white knuckles and bleeding gums. You cringe when you see them get out the little pokey stick. You nearly gag when you hear a drill. There is nothing wrong with you. You are normal. Very few people are like me, and I realize that fact. I have never had a cavity. I’ve never had to have any procedures done on my teeth*. I’ve never felt guilty after I leave the dentist.

The ability to have wonderful teeth is my super power. Which is why I think the dentist is awesome.

What is your super power? Is it more awesome than liking the dentist?

*Besides braces. That is an entirely different post. I hated the orthodontist.

>Things That Most People Think Are Dumb But Amanda Thinks Are Awesome: Part 2

>One of my dreams in life is to buy a house uptown (or downtown). I want to live in a house where I can walk to a coffee shop, a fancy cooking store or a bead and/or yarn store. Said dream house will also be old so I have an excuse to completely gut and renovate the whole thing.

I can’t get enough of arched doors, hardwood floors, deep windowsills, slanted ceilings, nooks and crannies, wide molding and crystal doorknobs. I love all of these things, but in conjunction with newly renovated things. New and old, hanging out in one awesome house. Until a few months ago, I didn’t realize some people have issues with the last item on my list. Apparently some think crystal doorknobs are tacky and gross. If you are one of those people, let me prove you wrong.

Crystal doorknobs are indeed phenomenal. They are not boring metal. They are not boring spheres or levers. They give a plain door a little bit of glamour. It catches your eye ever so slightly. When the door is closed, it hints that there is something special beyond the door. It’s like a subtle little announcement to the room, but only the observant will pick up on it. “Psst! Hey you! This room you are about to enter is gorgeous!”

I’m not insisting I replace every doorknob with a crystal one, in fact I am saying quite the opposite. The beauty of this knob is that it’s unique and shouldn’t be on every door in the house. It could be used on a bedroom door. Or maybe a sweet little powder room. Or a den that houses a shiny black baby grand piano (be still my beating heart!). Maybe on a front door like at my friend Annie’s house. Or to the bedroom of a little princess. It adds just a little bit of sparkle to a normally plain place.

Everything does not always have to be new and fancy. Notice the beauty of the old every now and then. It doesn’t have to take over. In fact, something speaks louder when it is understated and simple. Like when I wear my Great Grandma’s engagement ring. It’s old, it’s gorgeous and I love it, but I wouldn’t deck myself in only grandma things. It would be overwhelming and bizarre. Imagine me traipsing about life wearing a large broach, floral scarf, ruffly blouse and entirely beige running shoes. It would be weird. But just a little hint of the English woman who used to shake her cane at the TV while she watched wrestling on Sunday afternoons?

Now that’s beautiful.

>By Popular Demand*

>Snuggilicious pictures.

Recreating the picture on the box. Look how easy it is to use the remote!
A Snuggie built for three! This also shows the height difference between us sisters-in-law. The other two are definitely crouching.
Even Spawn of Satan Sassie enjoys it. Update: today I witnessed her opening a closet door. It’s like living with a furry, black Houdini. Who is evil.

*By popular demand in this case means Annie. She is a very pregnant Lady of Leisure. She gets what she demands.

>Things That Most People Think Are Dumb But Amanda Thinks Are Awesome: Part 1

>If you’ve seen my blog before, you’ve probably seen a “Weird Crap That Freaks Amanda Out” (WCTFAO) post. I essentially rant about crap that I hate. Now it is time to rant about crap I love. This here is my first installation of Things That Most People Think Are Dumb But Amanda Thinks Are Awesome (TTMPTADBATAA). You could also call these posts “In Defense of the Weak”. Today I will be writing about (drum roll please!)….

Snuggies!

If you know me at all, you aren’t surprised.

For those of you living under a rock, please watch the following commercial:

I received my Snuggie for Christmas last year from my brother and sister-in-law. They knew I would appreciate both the cheesiness and warmth that the Snuggie provides. Needless to say, it was my favourite gift. It is blue, it is fuzzy and it is warm. It also can fit multiple people if I so choose. I complain about being cold constantly, especially since I spend the majority of my home time in the basement. Yes, our family business specializes in fireplaces, but I can only have the Napoleon GD 70 on for so long before my housemates* complain about the heat.

The Snuggie is the perfect solution.

I can blog with my entire body covered in Snuggie. I can watch a movie while wrapped up in a Snuggie. I often play my piano in my Snuggie. I can wrap the Snuggie around me like a kimono and cook dinner. Or put the dog out. Possibly do laundry. I can knit and not get tangled in my yarn. My Snuggie has accompanied me on a winter retreat and kept me warm at night and during sessions. It has accompanied me to many movie nights. I took it to the drive-in movie theatre once. In every situation I am warm and I am oh so cuddly. What’s not to love about that?

I do realize that my Snuggie isn’t exactly attractive. I don’t have gentlemen lined up because they think my Snuggie is sexy. My Snuggie does not bring all the boys to the yard. The Snugg is Ugg. I realize this, yet I’m ok with it. I am secure enough in myself to wear a Snuggie in public and not worry about repelling a possible mate. Maybe one day I’ll meet a guy who has always wanted to try a Snuggie, and I’ll be right there waiting for him with open Snuggie arms. We’ll be soul mates, and we’ll be warm in our little Snuggie world.

I think in some cases it even makes me more attractive as a friend. I don’t know about you, but whenever I see someone doing something or wearing something that is funny or offbeat, I immediately want to know more about this person. They are either completely weird or have a great sense of humour. Either way, they’d be a delight to hang out with. My best friends are also my weirdest friends (don’t worry, this is why I love you). My Snuggie wearing self is more approachable because my Snuggie says, “Not only am I warm, but I’m fun, too!” Just the other week, I wore my Snuggie to an event and had people asking to try it. One person didn’t want to give it back. I know you might think it looks lame, but I know there was some jealousy. Someone was coveting my Snuggie. Don’t worry, I’m good at sharing.

While you mock my Snuggie and say it is no different than a backwards housecoat, I will just smile. You can tell me it is dorky and pointless, but I will shrug and wrap myself tighter. I have discovered the beauty and warmth of this blue polar fleece wonder. I am patient. I will wait for you to realize the joy that lies in owning something so delightful. And until then, I will cozy up on the couch with my dear friend, Snuggie. And I will be warm.

*This is what I call my parents when I feel lame for still living at home.