A couple of weeks ago I had a discussion with a dear friend that devastated me. He was sharing something happy, and I crumbled. It felt like I was sitting in this huge, empty auditorium that was once packed full with all of my “people”. These people had started to trickle out months ago, but with this one conversation, everyone was officially gone, the lights were switched off, and the door slammed shut. It was very empty. And quiet.
I knew that wasn’t reality. I still had lots of people around, but I didn’t pay much attention to them. I was wallowing and playing the “woe is me” card. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t engaging with my community or the people I love. I was just plain tired. Somewhere in the midst of that, chaos in our family erupted. Here I was stuck inside this empty auditorium by myself. Somewhere in there, I wrote this piece of writing and sent it to an editor I had been emailing.
Knowing myself all too well, I knew I had to make some drastic changes. I wasn’t happy about it, and it was hard and sad, but so very necessary. I needed to get out of situations that were leaving me exhausted, and reengage in relationships that bring me life. I shared with friends where I was at. One friend told me that I needed to swing open those auditorium doors and throw my own dang party. I knew she was right, but I had no idea how I was going to accomplish this. Then Sam from Converge let me know that the article I wrote was posted.
Guys, that was two days ago, and this party’s already BUMPIN’.
That article I wrote went viral. I don’t know how else to explain it. It exploded, and it keeps going. Thousands of shares and hundreds of comments, tweets, and likes later, I’m dumbfounded. How did this happen so quickly? And why THIS? Praise the Lord it was this and not the video of me after getting my wisdom teeth removed (I’m not ready to share that one yet).
God is a Great Comedian, and he understands the nerd inside of me that would get a kick out of something this absurd. Here I am asking petty questions about my life, and God’s grabbed my shoulders and is yelling in my face, “DO YA GET IT YET, PUMPKIN?” Yes. YES I DO. I GET IT. But I am not ready for this. I am sitting in my pajamas eating applesauce and ground flax seed and wondering when I last changed my Brita filter. The first thing on my mind is firing up my Keurig and then filling out my K-Cup rating spreadsheet (Yes, that’s a real thing and yes, I’m fully aware of how ridiculous it sounds.) I’m not thinking about traffic stats and being marketable or making an impact. My Kindergarten kids called me Mr. Bast all day yesterday. My life is very average. This is all very strange.
Please don’t misunderstand me in this. I realize it’s one article and I likely won’t reach that level of internet fame ever again. Not everything in my life is fixed because of some numbers. I’m still mourning aspects of my life that are gone now, and I will continue to struggle my way through, because that’s life. But it jump started something that could be really interesting if we run with it. There are a lot of new faces and followers to learn about. What I wrote struck a chord, and I can’t ignore it. People have shared snippets of their stories, and I feel honoured and privileged to be a tiny part of that.
It feels as though you’ve all walked into this big empty auditorium and are staring at me, blinking, waiting for me to do something. I don’t want to be your performing monkey, so please don’t throw popcorn at me (actually…I love popcorn. Let me think about that). I don’t want to entertain you. I don’t want to be something else that you consume and forget about later. I want to engage and I want to write and read things that make others say, “Hey, me too!” I think that’s what it’s all about. Sorry The Hokey Pokey.
So here we are. I don’t know what comes next, but I do know what comes now (haha, see what I did there?).
I write things and post them on the internet in my free time. I do some cool things, but a lot of boring things too.
Want to get this party started?