Facebook Ads

Someone told me that the ads that appear on the right side of your Facebook page are reflective of what you do on the internet. Here’s a list of ads that have appeared within the last couple of days and what they say about me.

Today’s Hot Deals! Well I DO love a good deal. When I walk into a store, I go straight to the sale rack. I rarely buy anything regular price (unless the regular price is $10 and under, then I’m all over it)

Mastercard. I’m a VISA girl, but I guess this one is pretty straightforward.

21st Century Church. Hey! I go to church! I live in the 21st Century! Good job, Facebook!

Ravioli Soup with Havarti. While this sounds delicious, I have pretty significant food intolerances. This would kill me slowly. But it’s the thought that counts, right?

EpiPen. I know I just said that I have food intolerances, but that doesn’t mean I need an EpiPen. I can take care of myself. That’s almost a little insulting.

Great RUGBY training ! (with a space before the exclamation mark). Well I do like exercise in some situations, but I don’t know if Rugby is really a fit for someone my size, or for someone who despises running as much as I do. I’ll pass, thanks.

Roca Labs Gastric Bypass. So what exactly are you trying to say, here? Do you think I need surgery? It’s only allergies! Bypass wouldn’t fix me. Unless…you are hinting at something else? First exercise and now surgery? DO YOU THINK I’M FAT, FACEBOOK?

Charter Fishing. Fishing? You think I’m too obese for regular exercise, and all I can do is FISH? That’s hardly a sport. Most of it involves sitting! So you think I should just spend the rest of my leisure time doing nothing but sitting? AM I REALLY THAT LAZY IN YOUR EYES?

Join the Cattitude. Cats?! CATS?! I’M NOT THAT FAR GONE, YET!

Buy cheese online! Hey! You can buy cheese online? That’s so convenient. I could just sit here and with a few clicks of a button, have cheese delivered to my house. I wouldn’t have to walk through the grocery store or get off the couch even. I could just sit here with my cats and….I HATE YOU, FACEBOOK.


11 thoughts on “Facebook Ads

  1. Now you made me check mine.

    Most obviously appropriate: “Stand Against Obamacare” and one for my local political party office.

    Politics, cute animals, and nerd topics pretty much constitute the entirety of what I share on Facebook.

    Most bizarre title: “Do You Have Robo-balls?”
    First line of the ad text: “Part man, Part machine. All American”

    The first line text doesn’t help explain this one; it just makes it worse.

  2. Haha, mine are at least 80% singles ads, usually coupled with a religion. Like, “Hot Christian Singles,” “Find Jewish Singles in Your Area,” or “Catholic Singles.” Obviously, facebook has figured out my relationship status, but not my religious affiliation. I blame this on the fact that I haven’t updated my “About” page in several years.

  3. Online cheese? What mammoth steps humanity has taken. Our forefathers couldn’t have possibly dreamed of someday purchasing their cheese online.

    Yes, I love Facebook ads.

  4. Okay, it’s almost 2am, and I’m laughing like a maniac, trying to smother myself to hold it in. Stop being so funny.
    I miss lame Facebook ads. I got adblocker to kill the ones on YouTube, and so I don’t get Facebook ones, either. Maybe I should change the settings to let those ones through…

  5. now the whole world is checking Facebook ads more than Facebook……just something else to distract me from my task at hand…..wait also your blogs are distracting me from my task at hand…..I really need to get back to work…..wait wait now I forgot what it was I was doing……now I have to start all over again……doing something that I need to be doing, if only I could figure it out…..but most importantly I need to stop getting distra……hey look a bunny lol

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