I moved in to my own apartment in August. It’s taken a couple of months to adjust, but I feel like I’m finally getting into the swing of things. I’m also finding that there is a lot of odd things about this place. Here is a list.
1. There are apparently 141 apartments in this place, but you rarely see anyone in the building. The only people I ever run in to have dogs or walkers.
2. My bathroom often smells like cigarette smoke. It’s in the interior of the apartment and it has no window. HOW? I am still figuring it out.
3. When I turn on my oven, the one back burner heats up enough to heat a pot of water.
4. The only time I can hear my neighbour is when he sneezes.
5. I’ve only ever seen that same neighbour in workout clothes. Thus, he has been named Sweaty Asian Guy.
6. The lady across the hall has the word “NO” taped over the lock on her door.
7. For two nearly two months, there has been a spot where the couch should be. This hole will be filled Friday (finally).
8. Sometimes when you push the 1 in the elevator, it takes you up to the 6th floor.
9. There is a couple in an apartment adjacent to me (unsure if it’s up, down or beside) who likes to play the bagpipes at 6:30am on Sunday mornings.
10. There was a half eaten grilled cheese sandwich in the stairwell for a couple of weeks.
11. There is a car dealership beside the building. I can hear the phone ring, and people getting paged over their loudspeaker.
12. There is a parrot below me that is hilarious. More on him later.
13. A man with a mustache holds my Q-Tips. His name is Clancy.
14. People never seem to take off their shoes when they come in. I think it’s because I have office carpet.
15. There is a new wretched smell in the lobby every day. Today it was poo. Unmistakeably.
16. The right elevator is faster than the left elevator, but it takes longer for the right elevator’s door to open.
17. I don’t get any mail other than pizza flyers and bills.
18. I can see a Tim Horton’s from my window. I can also see my Dad’s store from the window.
19. Someone named Long Pu lives on the 5th floor.
20. I live here on my own, and that in itself is weird. Being an adult is odd.