Q & A with J & A

I am once again happy to present you with another round of Q & A with J & A. In this post, my accomplice, THE Joseph Craven and I will answer your questions about life and love. We’re totally qualified to do this.

Q & A with J & A
Solving the quandaries of life and love

This edition is entirely devoted to two eligible bachelors with initials in their names, M. Scott Anderson and D.A. Broughton. You’re welcome, gentlemen.

I’ve been told there’s a line between “intentionally getting to know” and “creepy stalking.” Is this true, and where is said line? – D.A. Broughton

A: If you approach her with a smile and a genuine interest in who she is, she’ll respond positively. If you’re open and honest with her, she’ll likely begin to be open and honest with you. Intentionally getting to know her means asking her questions about herself, her interests and the people around her. If you’re honest and genuine about wanting to get to know her, it’s not creepy. Most women would be flattered if you told them that you found them interesting and you’d like to get to know them better. If they’re not most women, you’re going to be able to read body language pretty quickly. If you persist even when she says she’s not interested, you’re crossing over the creep line. If you show up places where you know she’s going to be when she’s told you she’s not interested, then you’re getting a little creepier. Being intentional isn’t pushy or creepy. It’s being genuinely excited and interested in getting to know someone.

J: You know how cats will bring you dead animals as signs of affection? The line is riiiight before that. It’s okay for cats. It’s creepy for people.

Where is the best place to meet someone? – M. Scott Anderson

J: I understand the job markets in Boston and Washington D.C. are the best in the nation, so that could be a good starting point.

A: Probably the comment section of Tyler Stanton’s blog. Or if that somehow doesn’t work out for you, a place where you genuinely enjoy being. If you hate bars, then that’s a terrible place to meet someone. If you love church, then church is a great place. If you love horseback riding, go hang out at a stable. If you love coffee, smile at the cute barista. Volunteer at the local animal shelter. Join a gym. Start busking at the farmer’s market. The world is your oyster. Or, I have no idea how to answer this question. Uh. Go back to college?

Is a DTR as uncomfortable for gals as it is for guys? – D.A. Broughton

J: Relationships are supposed to progress naturally. You meet somebody, and you deliberately take the time to get to know them, and things get clear from there. But we have DTRs thrown in the mix. It’s a lot like comparing Tetris and Dr. Mario. Sure, it’s practically the same game, but Dr. Mario added in these little viruses that just make the game more complicated. So DTRs? They’re little complicating viruses. It’s uncomfortable for all, because it’s breaking the natural flow.

A: That all depends on whether you’re with a girl who is comfortable with awkward situations, and if the timing is right. If it’s way too soon, then it’s going to be uncomfortable and forced. Like Joseph said, they’re uncomfortable because they break the natural flow. Don’t force it. It will likely come up naturally. If the girl you’re DTRing with routinely avoids uncomfortable situations, you better believe your DTR is going to be aw-k-ward. If she’s ok with dealing with tough stuff and isn’t afraid to talk it out no matter how awkward, then you’re likely going to have a more comfortable DTR. Also, you’ve found yourself a winner.

I’ve kind of given up on finding someone to share my life with ie “My groove”. How do I get my groove back? – M. Scott Anderson

J: I understand it’s difficult to do that. I mean, you could have a great career going for you as a San Fransisco area stock broker, but still feel like you’re missing something. I recommend a trip. A nice, first-class, luxurious trip. Maybe to an island or something. Jamaica, perhaps? Just soak in the beauty of the island. Who knows what may happen!

A: I don’t get it.

At what age does PDA move from being gaggy, to sweet and cute, to see? (or is it another factor besides age?) – D.A. Broughton

J: It’s always gross. I don’t wanna see old people macking on each other. DISGUSTING.

A: Yeah, pretty gross all around. Couples should just ignore each other unless they’re in the privacy of their own homes.

If you have a question about life and/or love, leave it in the comment section and we’ll answer it in a future edition of Q & A with J & A.

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16 thoughts on “Q & A with J & A

  1. I had to Google DTR to find out what it was.

    I recommend avoiding reading the medical definitions, FYI.

    However, I do now understand how Digital Television Receivers could be awkward to discuss too early in a relationship. I mean, do you buy a new TV with a built-in one, or do you keep the old TV working with a set-top box? Dissension over electronics can be a major game-changer.

  2. I just had an actual thought for a legitimate question: At what point in a relationship is it ok for a guy to drag a girl to something that doesn’t interest her? And does this differ from the timespan for a girl to drag a guy to something that doesn’t interest him?

    And by “drag” I mean that the person who likes it is the instigator of them going there, rather than a selfless suggestion from the person who doesn’t like it.

  3. I would like to point out that because he goes by two first initials, D.A. Broughton qualifies to be a noted Christian writer. See also: C.S. Lewis, J.I. Packer, D.A. Carson, N.T. Wright…

    (I know there are others, but I can’t recall them at the moment.)

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