Q & A with J & A

Please journey back with me a few months. I asked if you had any pressing relationship questions that needed answers. I was flooded with questions. I asked The Joseph Craven to help me answer them. Some of our answers appeared over at Rob Shep’s site just in time for Valentine’s Day. But…THERE ARE MORE! I would have done this sooner, but I forgot, okay? Please enjoy this dose of wisdom.

Q & A with J & A
Solving the quandaries of life and love

Should women pursue or wait to be pursued? How I deal with the guy next to me at Starbucks hinges on your answer.Jamie

J: I’m sorry it took so long to answer and we ruined your chances. Look, pursuing and being pursued….that’s all hunting talk. So it comes down to this: do you want to be the hunter, or the hunted? Do you want to be a trophy who is chased after, or the bold one who does the chasing? All depends on how you want to appear. Also, hunting is an awful comparison to dating, so just don’t ever use the word “pursuing” again.

A: We totally dropped the ball on this one, Jamie. I think sometimes we want to go out and pursue a man ourselves. Let’s face it: sometimes men are clueless and need a little…nudge in the right direction. I don’t think it’s wrong to pursue, but I do think it’s fun to be pursued. My advice is this: make it known that you are available (eyelash batting, excessive flirting, “Oh I’m SO FREE this weekend I don’t know WHAT I will do!”), but don’t do the asking out. If he’s still too dense to figure it out, then move on. He probably won’t be bright enough to figure out your taxes either.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how fun is a long distance relationship?Heather Summers

A: Fun is what you make it! Obviously, actually seeing each other is a fun part of a relationship. It’s easier to have fun in person. But Skype can be fun if you have funny hat collections or you are really good at funny faces or you’re a good story teller. I mean, talking is lots of fun. No, you can’t hold hands or cuddle or cook dinner together or go for walks on the beach, but Skype’s fun, right? Talking to a computer is great? Yeah? Almost as good as a real face. Totally. Right?

J: Oh, it’s awesome. You can totally fire up Skype and have ESPN3 running at the same time. Sure, the video will get a little choppy, but you don’t miss a second of the game. Skype even has this “pop-out” option that allows you to have her face in a tiny little corner so it doesn’t get in the way! Technology, guys. So cool. Technology.

What does it mean when a girl says it’s time for a “big boy haircut?”Chandler

A: It means that she thinks you’re not mature enough for her, but she can’t figure out how to say it properly, so instead she just talks about your hair. She sees herself as mature woman in need of a mature man to fulfill her every whim and desire. As soon as you don’t do that, she thinks your hair is stupid and childish. In reality? She’s not mature enough to realize that you’re probably more mature than her.

J: It means it’s time to dump her.

What does it mean when a girl gets mad you get along with her 30 year old cousins better than her 3 year old cousins? – Chandler

A: Women find men who interact well with little kids extremely attractive. A man having a make-believe tea party while wearing a plastic tiara? Super hot. If you can carry on a conversation with a tiny human, a woman will automatically assume that you’re going to be a great dad. She’s looking for a dude to make babies with who will actually be good at more than just the making part. The lady in question was probably excited that she’d get a chance to observe you with the little ones. So when you chose to carry on an adult conversation instead of playing duck, duck, goose, all of her high hopes of you being the father of her children went out the window. Her biological clock is ticking and that makes her mad. She just happened to take it out on you. Sorry dude. Ladies be crazy.

J: It means it’s time to dump her.

What does it mean when a girl gets mad at you for being an introvert when you are, in fact, not an introvert? – Chandler

A: It means she has unrealistic expectations of how communication should look in your relationship. Let me guess. She’s a talker, right? She talks about anything and everything, regardless of the fact that no one wants to hear what colour she is going to paint her toenails next Tuesday. She talks about everything, so when you don’t tell her which belt you decided to wear this morning, she thinks you’re bottling up your emotions. Assure her that although you may not say every little thing that pops into your brain out loud, that doesn’t make you an introvert. Is this the same girl? She seems high maintenance.

J: It means it’s time to dump her.

What does it mean when a girl gets mad at you for living with your parents but she lives with her grandparents? – Chandler

A: She doesn’t think you respect your elders. And if you don’t respect your elders, how can you ever respect her. She – wait a minute. Is this the same girl?

J: It means it’s time to move out of the house and dump her.

A: What he said.

If you seek wisdom from Joseph and myself, make sure you leave a question in the comments. It could be featured in another Q&A with J&A.


19 thoughts on “Q & A with J & A

  1. “If he’s still too dense to figure it out, then move on. He probably won’t be bright enough to figure out your taxes either.” – Possibly my favorite line.

    As for ‘What does it mean when a girl gets mad at you for living with your parents but she lives with her grandparents’, my guess would be: It means she wants a guy who already has his own place so she has somewhere to move into and get out of her grandparents place.

  2. Hilarious.

    So, we can ask you two anything?

    Ok, here goes – Why does the car dealership say things like ‘You’ll have your car back the same day!’, and then a week later they’re still ordering a part?

  3. Pingback: Dot Your Q’s and Cross Your A’s « The Greatest Blog Of All Time

  4. The facial hair quota on this thread is getting pretty weighty. Amanda, Craven, Haggerty, Chandler, Chad Jones, and myself (though I have no avatar to prove it). You need to let Jamie borrow one of your mustachios so she doesn’t get left out!

    I’m pretty sure Rob Shep’s afro is explained by his beard having no navigational skills.

  5. Question: My wife keeps telling me she’s pregnant. Actually, she’s been telling me for 22 weeks. I think she’s making it up. What should I do? Thanks in advance guys. You’re the best.

  6. If Craven spelled his name like Qraven, it could be Q&A with Q&A. But Q&A with J&A is cute too.

    But yeah, more of this would make my life more enjoyable.

  7. Also–at the inevitable nuptials–will there be any hyphenating of names? Will Joseph become:

    The Joseph Craven-B, or

    Will it be:

    Amanda B-Craven?

    Expiring minds want to know!

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