Friday Field Notes: I Like Big Butts

Every week I encounter anywhere between 20 and 100+ kids. They say some ridiculous things. I write them down as accurately and timely as possible, then compile the best lines into these weekly Friday Field Notes.

Enjoy. I certainly do.

My Tuesday (post-Halloween) was the worst. I didn’t write anything down from that day because I don’t want to remember any of it.


Little girl describing a picture she drew: These are dinosaurs swimming under water. That is a girl standing there. Actually she drowned. Those are scissors. She dropped them.

Boy describing something he built: This is a chocolate factory with animals buying chocolate. This is where the workers sleep.

Me (reading a Robert Munsch book): What is university?
C: Umm uhhh umm……..(whispering) outer space.
Me (hiding behind book, giggling)
K: It’s where you go and get a job to do.
Me: Sort of.
D: It’s like a school for big people. Like 12 or 13 year olds.

R (showing me a spider book): We didn’t even barf from that!

Me: B, what do you want to be when you grow up.
B: Four. I have four on my packback.
Me: But what do you want to be when you grow up?
B: Six.

Me: Can you tell me the name of a vegetable?
B: Jello.

Me: Can you tell me some healthy things to eat?
C: Bacon.
Me: Bacon is delicious, but it’s not healthy for you.
C: GASP (I’m telling you, there was an audible gasp and his mouth hung wiiiiide open).
Me: I know buddy. I’m sorry I had to break it to you.

D: Oatmeals is a good to eat at beckwrist.

Me: NO ONE in this class is a runaway pancake!

R: Can you write that the cracker people are evil?

Grade 5

G: We have a supply.
T: A supply? Hope they’re not weird looking.

Grade 2

R: My dog can listen to French.

J: I am awesome because I like hot dogs.

M: He called me a cheesy deesy bean pants!

Me: Oh honey, not an appropriate song to sing at school.
F: But….but….
Me: Not at school, lovey.
F: Can I like them at home?
Me: Sure.

P: I had some steam right in front of me but now it’s GONE.


I remembered something funny from Tuesday, the worst day ever.

Two random boys come up to me in the hall at the end of the day.
1: Are you a supply teacher?
Me: Yes.
1: Are you nice?
Me: Well yes, I’d like to think I am.
2: Good. You seem nice. We had a supply today who was NOT nice.
1: She was crying and yelling at us. I wish we had you instead.
2: Yeah she cried. Your class was lucky.

It was a bad day, but AT LEAST I DIDN’T CRY.

Have a good weekend, you Cheesy Deesy Bean Pantses.


22 thoughts on “Friday Field Notes: I Like Big Butts

    • Yes. It was Friday afternoon and they all kept singing it. It needed to stop. I’m a meaniepants.

      Beckwrist? Not at all. I got him to repeat the word throughout the day just to make me giggle. The outer space had me shaking with laughter. But trying not to. Because I felt bad. Bacon made me laugh out loud. Couldn’t hide that one.

  1. the day after halloween is by default always horrible. Only those who work with kids knows just how bad lack of sleep mixed with sugar highs can be.

  2. Oddly enough, I’ve just recently been reminded that one of the American Founding Fathers, whose name escapes me at this moment, passed the entrance exam for Harvard at age 7, but his parents didn’t let him attend till age 13, so he could enter with his peers. So D isn’t wrong, just born a few centuries late. :)

    I also join Some Guy in wanting to know what you wrote about the cracker people.

    I’m going to go ask my mom if we can get a dog that listens to French, now.

    • I wrote nothing about the cracker people. I should have, but the assignment was to draw a healthy food and label it. He drew cracker people. If I had known the teacher I was filling in for, I would have written about cracker people. But…I didn’t. Sorry buddy.

  3. My cats can ignore me not only in French, but also English, Spanish, German…pretty much every language really…

    …Cats are jerks.

    …So is Joseph Craven. #preemptivestrike

  4. Pingback: Bacon Is The New Black | Laura McClellan

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