GUEST POST: Weird Crap That Freaks Ricky Out

Today for your reading pleasure, Ricky Anderson and I have swapped posts. Ricky is a network administrator at an accounting firm by day and a blogger by night. I don’t know what the first one means, so we’ll go with the second part for now. I first became internet-aware of Ricky when he conjured up some computer wizardry and made redirect to this here site. I’m still in awe and don’t really understand it. He assures me it’s legal.

Ricky was a Team Captain in this year’s Blogging All-Star Challenge. His team lost miserably but that’s only because Jon Acuff’s deep-v was compelling voters to stray from true awesomeness. I voted Team Ricky and after you read this list of Weird Crap That Freaks Ricky Out, you’ll understand why. Don’t be blinded by the deep-vees of the internet world, friends. Stick with Ricky.

Make sure you visit his blog to read my guest post. While you’re there check out his stuff. It’s kind of like going to someone’s house for dinner and rooting through their medicine cabinet. You’ll never know what treasures you’ll find. Without further ado….

* * * * * * * *

Confrontation I hate difficult conversations. I will do anything to appease someone just so I won’t have to talk to them about it. I had to have one of those conversations with my neighbor a couple weeks ago. I literally felt ill beforehand, pacing the house in a giant ball of stress. When the actual conversation happened, it lasted 25 seconds and ended with him thanking me for letting him know.

Driving Away From Home – I’m a safe driver. I’m a cautious driver. I’ve never gotten a ticket or caused an accident. But I absolutely suck at directions. I can get lost in my own driveway. No, a GPS doesn’t fix this. While using a GPS, I once ended up in the wrong state when trying to return a rental car. Turns out there’s more than one Kansas City.

Chicken Pot Pie, Grits and/or Okra – Really, people? This is what you’ve decided to eat? You know they have good food in the grocery stores, right? So…skip the yucky stuff. When my niece Adelle was 3, we were all eating at a restaurant. She got fried okra instead of fries with her burger. She didn’t like them and started fussing. Her folks had her dip them (the okra, not her folks) in ranch. She fussed louder (okra in ranch is a great way to ruin ranch). I nudged her and pointed to an empty spot on my plate. She’s a quick learner, and we solved the problem of this cruel and unusual punishment, pronto.
Hotel Floors – We’ve all seen the news reports on bed bugs and unwashed comforters in hotels. I toss the comforter off the bed and get comfy with the bugs. What really gets me is the floor. In my head, I imagine a hairy man tossing his underwear on the floor and then rubbing it all around. You will never, never catch me walking barefoot in a hotel room. I wear slippers or flip-flops all the time.
What’s something weird that freaks you out?

27 thoughts on “GUEST POST: Weird Crap That Freaks Ricky Out

  1. It’s as if someone stole this list from my head. Get out of my head Ricky. I’d also add on the list public restrooms. We spend most of our life going to the bathroom in private. To go to the bathroom with people all around is crazy. I was at church yesterday and a guy was blowing up the toilet. He tried to caugh to cover the noise of the farts but it didn’t work. It was awkward.

  2. That last image made me gag- especially since yesterday I was lounging on my hotel room floor eating cereal.

    I completely agree with you about grits and okra, but chicken pot pie? Maybe you haven’t had a good one yet. These are kind of incredible.

    I am freaked out by people who wear blue contacts when their eyes clearly should be brown. I coach high school basketball and yesterday during a time-out I said, “You guys have to close out harder on the blue-eyed freak.”

    “Coach, who are you talking about?”

    “Oh come on. You haven’t noticed her blue contacts? They’re bothering me from 90 feet away. Be more observant, girls.”

    Excellent guest post.

  3. I also am navigationally impaired. I blamed my right/left/brain/hand confusion. I can’t tell my left from my right without pretending to eat. And I don’t trust my GPS.

    Short list of things that freak me out: clowns, blue man group, smurfs (pretty much anything that’s unnaturally blue), mimes, frogs, toads, geckos and Donald Trump’s combover.

    Why you gotta be a chicken pot pie hater?

    And hello there, Mandi! Came over from Ricky’s place.

  4. Confrontation is THE WORST THING EVER. I hate it more than I hate public speaking. Actually, confrontation is a lot like public speaking. Okay, now I hate both of them equally. Thanks for helping me clear that up.

    But don’t feel bad about the Kansas City thing. I think they were on hallucinogenic mushrooms when they decided to put one city in two states. Much like I think they were on hallucinogenic mushrooms when they decided to put Michigan City in Indiana.

  5. First off, grits freak you out? (I can understand chicken pot pie, which is neither a pot nor a pie and okra which is just green food hidden underneath a deep fried crust.)

    More seriously…

    Fast. Moving. Bugs.

    We all know that slow bugs are friendly and likely won’t get too close to us anyway. Fast moving bugs, on the other hand, have one goal and one goal only: attack the face. If a fast moving bug is on the opposite side of the room, it is only a matter of seconds before they are on your face. The best defense is a hasty retreat accompanied by flailing limbs.

    • Grits are like eating an old shoe and getting bits stuck in your teeth.

      I’ve only seen you pull the hasty retreat accompanied by flailing limbs once, and that’s not bad. You’re braver than you give yourself credit for.

      But it was still pretty stinkin’ funny!

      Remember the wireless mouse you broke?

  6. Worse than fried okra? Boiled okra. But grits wrapped up in cheese are quite delightful. That might be the Alabama talking.

    Ricky – we could be friends. I’m going to take Amanda’s advice and root through your cabinet.

  7. And here I thought grits was a Christian rap duo? It’s a food item? Really?

    No idea.

    (Ok, I’m lying–I know what grits are, and cornpone, and greens, etc.).

    Funniest use of okra ever was in the late 70s (before most all of y’all were born): SNL did a parody of Coca Cola called “Okra Cola.” It was as funny–and as gross–as it sounds.

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