I’m weird. There’s no denying it. Part of my weirdness involves funny voices. My strange faces are indeed odd. I like to sing bizarre songs. I’m also prone to quoting obscure junk. When I say “obscure junk” I mean stuff that most people have never heard of, or it’s a small part of something people have heard of, but since I provide no context, the meaning is obscure. I don’t mean quoting the obscure part of a popular movie that has been made popular by quoting the part constantly, thus making it no longer obscure. No. That’s not it at all. I made a list.
Marcel the Shell with Shoes On
Mennonites. I have Mennonite stories from earlier this year. I have told them at family get togethers, when we’ve had friends for dinner or any time I find myself with a fresh audience. I just told these stories this past weekend. I must note that I’m never the one who brings up the stories. It’s usually my dad who announces I have a great story to tell and proceeds to say bits of the story with no context, thus confusing everyone in the room apart from those who have already heard the stories. Or my mom tries to capture the accent but it ends up sounding mostly Indian. My brothers have even requested the stories. I don’t think I’ve ever had family requested stories (when you’re the youngest funny kid in a funny family, this is a big deal). I cannot explain exactly what makes them great but boy are they ever. So great, they can only ever be told in person by yours truly. Sorry, internets. No video could capture the nuance of the Mennonite stories. “Did you bathe it in Epsom salts?”
The little girl in this commercial.
The Wedding Planner. Of all the cheesy JLo and/or Matthew McDoesn’tweardeodourant I pick this one. The beauty of quoting this movie is that the lines are not that funny, and no one knows where it’s from, so I don’t have to be embarrassed. My go to lines:
Jezebel was the only queen in the Bible to be eaten by dogs.
Are you Nancy PONG?
Steve! Steve! It’s you, Steve.
You smell like sweet red plums and grilled cheese sandwiches.
The noise at 0:35.
The part in Stuart Little when the kid runs around yelling “It’s today! It’s today!” because he’s excited to get a baby mouse brother. I quote this whenever I’m excited about something happening on that particular day. I may or may not run around while I’m saying it. Depends on who’s asking.
RAISINS?! This guy named The Sneeze used to blog and it was great. When his son was 3, he gave him a 14 cent box of raisins for Christmas. He did the same thing the next Christmas and recorded his reaction. Please, PLEASE do yourself a favour and listen to the audio from both years. The 2007 Raisins gets quoted every time I encounter raisins.
What weird junk do you reference? Better yet, make some obscure references in the comments and we’ll all try to guess what it’s from. And we’ll all be wrong. That sounds like fun.