Continuing Education 101: Grooming vs Hygiene

If you’re a regular around these parts, you’re likely familiar with my nothing-short-of-epic series on facial hair. I have received high praise for these revolutionary pieces of literature. They are also responsible for 95% of the traffic my blog receives from search engines. Obviously, dudes want to know what looks good.

Today I have good newses for you! Your education isn’t stopping with your face. Oh no. It takes more then just a well-groomed mug to make a difference in this world. So I’ve taken on this heavy burden and I now present you with (drum roll please):

Continuing Education 101: Grooming vs Hygiene

First off, what’s with the extra ‘i’ in ‘hygiene’? Is it really necessary? No. But since I like great grammar and spelling more than I hate Canadian television, the extra ‘i’ will stay.

Nextly*, this post is meant to clarify some definitions before we dig deep into the heart of the issues. There is a difference between grooming and hygiene. You can be very well groomed but have terrible hygiene. You can also have great hygiene and terrible grooming habits. Now for some definitions.

Hygiene “refers to the set of practices perceived by a community to be associated with the preservation of health and healthy living” while grooming is “the art of cleaning, grooming, and maintaining parts of the body”. Thanks Wikipedia.

Essentially, Facial Hair Education relates to grooming. We’ve been through grooming. I think you’re expert groomers by now. If your hair looks great, your beard is trimmed and you don’t have hair rockets blasting out of your nostrils, you’re a good groomer.

Hygiene relates to health. In my humble opinion, hygiene is a basic life skill. Shouldn’t we all have hygiene down pat? On a scale of basic to advanced, hygiene is basic. Grooming is more advanced. Fake tanning isn’t even on this scale because I don’t want to lose any of my credibility as a blogger. No fake tans allowed. End of discussion.

I encounter dudes on a regular basis (and I’m not talking dudes in grade 6. They’re stinky, but I give them a pass because they’re likely too shy to ask their mommies to buy them some deodorant the next time she’s at Walmart. With age, comes a more developed sense of smell and less fear of mothers. At least this is what I hope for) who have no sense of personal hygiene whatsoever.

This is a poor state of affairs, internets. It saddens me to think discussing this topic is even necessary. During the next few posts, expect to see stuff about smelling good, oral hygiene, not being disgusting and hand washing. Since I want to appeal to the demands of my audience, I need your help.

What do YOU want to read about in terms of hygiene? Any pressing questions? Is this series completely lame? Yeah? Whatever, I’m doing it anyway. But if it’s lame let me know. Or not. That’s cool too.

*I also like being contradictory


12 thoughts on “Continuing Education 101: Grooming vs Hygiene

  1. That is one rad parenthetical phrase in the 2nd to last paragraph (see what I did there with my geeky grammar?)! Also because of the font on your blog, the i in your extra ‘i’ <~~ looks like a guy doing a cheer…or praising the Lord…or something.

    Biggest hygiene problem I've noticed in guys (mainly single guys that do (or don't do) their own laundry. Is it even legal to have a parenthetical phrase within a parenthetical phrase? I feel like I'm in Inception right now.

    Anyways…so yeah, even guys that groom themselves and take baths still stink because they don't know how to wash their clothes. Maybe you should school some peeps on that.

  2. For inquiring minds, I can point out that the seemingly-superfluous ‘i’ in ‘hygiene’ is a hangover from the word’s Greek ancestor, which, frighteningly, contains no fewer than five vowels itself (and means ‘health, well-being’). The learn-ed dudes who in past centuries used to make up new English words based on Greek ones kept the ‘i’ to remind them of this distinguished ancient root. That is, rather than making all our lives easier by just writing the thing phonetically.

    On another note, if there is a planet somewhere inhabited exclusively by parentheses, they might actually worship you there as some kind of mythical hero.

  3. I lost a spelling bee in grade 11 because I spelled it h-y-g-e-n-e. I agree that the extra “i” is pointless.

    Also, the worst thing is when people have obviously not brushed their teeth in days and there’s white/brown gunk between their teeth…makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

  4. Does anyone else think it is gross when at a public washroom the hand-washer proceeds to use their newly cleaned hand to turn off the faucet directly? Many other hands have touched it, probably after going to the bathroom. Pee Mandie, there may as well be pee on the handle of the faucet. Does anyone else turn off the faucet with the paper towel they dried their hands with, and then open the door to go out with the same paper towel?
    Or do people think since they washed their hands and now it may be dirty again, that both actions cancels the other out?
    Is this in the hygiene category?
    Also, remember the super cool bathroom at Wildcraft we all went to for Johnny’s going away party? wooot

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