Friday Field Notes: Eggs

It was HOT this week. I spent a lot of time in unairconditioned buildings, which may or may not explain the weirdness of the stuff kids said.

“Your teeth are see through.”

“FIVE. FOUR. EGGS. ROUND. FOUR. Your earrings look like eggs.”

“Blee. NO. AH. You’re my teacher. FIVE.”

This kid has a mullet.

“If this class holds true to it’s reputation, kids will be duct taped to the wall by the end of the day.”

“Mamma Mia, Miss B! You’re the greatest teacher ever! And I’m Luigi!” (reread in the proper accent please)

Adult: “What makes you happy?”
Kid: “School and my momma.”
Adult: “Why do they make you happy?”
Kid: “School because I have friends and my momma because she bakes me shrimp that I love.”

“Do you know what is stronger than teeth? A skateboard.”

“Can you eat nails? Or screws?”

6 yr old Boy: “You look really beautiful now, Miss B.”
Me: “Now? You mean I didn’t before?”
Boy: “No.”
Me: “Oh?”
Boy: “This is good [pointing to my bangs]. I like this. When did you do that? I don’t remember you doing that before. Did you do it with that thing you plug in that gets hot?”
Me: “A straightener? Yes.”
Boy: “Good. It’s good. Can you wear your hair down? Now?”
Me: “No. It’s too hot out to wear my hair down.”
Boy: “But it’s so beautiful when it’s down. Please?”

Boy: “Miss B, J stuck his tongue out at me!”
Me: Sigh.

A dance party broke out in one of my Kindie classes this week. It happened somewhat spontaneously, and they automatically formed a giant circle and took turns showing off their moves in the middle of it. One of the many reasons I love inner-city schools. I was astounded by their moves. As were the kids. After one dude spun like a top another exclaimed,

“WHOA! That was SICK!”

Indeed it was. Three of them fell asleep during story time that afternoon. Also sick

“Big problems are bullying, burning hair and bleeding. And broken bones.”

This week’s favourite. It was a really tough day.

Kid: “Look, I made a magic wand!”
Me: “Wonderful! What are you going to do with it?”
Kid: “Good!”

Do good with your magic wands this week, internets :o)


15 thoughts on “Friday Field Notes: Eggs

  1. Love it! :)

    The one with all the b words reminded me of a response in case a student interrupts me during a teaching time. (It’s the 4 b’s.)

    “Are you bleeding?? Can you breathe?? Is the building burning?? Are you going to barf??” Usually the kid says no and then they can sit down. :)

  2. Holy moly, your kids are weird. I’m not sure if it was the heat or the age or your country, but that is some weird crap spewing from their lips. I’m a little jealous but today’s sermon was about coveting so I’m trying not to be.

    • I bet if you started writing down the stuff your kids say and posting it out of context it would be just as bizarre. For reals. My kids aren’t funnier, I just pick out the weird stuff and write it down. Mind you, the first kid is really weird. Really really weird.

  3. I teach middle school, so I know all about the weird things kids say. (Though I’m on summer vacation now, so I kinda miss the little weirdos, :)

    Love your blog! So glad to have stumbled upon it!

  4. Is it bad that my second thought after reading the “I am a Lizard” kid was the Taco Bell commercial?

    Taco Bell Dog (with classic “cardboard box propped by a stick” trap): Here, Leezard, Leezard, Leezard!
    *Godzilla rounds the corner*
    Taco Bell Dog: “I think I need a beeger box.”

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