Friday Field Notes: Licorice

Once again I remind you that these are all real. No hyperbole or exaggeration necessary.

Welcome to my life.

Grade 6 Boy 1: You know you can go anywhere wif a book.
Me: Like in your imagination?
Boy 1: Yeah or like to college.
Me: Yup.
Boy 1: Or to a store to buy a big book to hit people wif.

Boy 1: Marry her? My life would be miserable. I’d rather marry a 4 legged donkey.

Boy 1: He was away for 3 days.
Boy 2: Best three days of my life.
Boy 1: Mine too.

Me: Do you have a running commentary in your head at all times?
Boy 1: You don’t want to know what’s going on in my head. It’s not good-natured.

Boy: My mom thinks a hamster is a rat. She screamed when she saw one. Once I saw a rat with no hair. It was fat.

Girl: (middle of a game of tag, running up to me): I’m allergic to licorice. It makes my face turn red. (Runs away)

Boy: Can we play with Lego? Pretty please?
Me: Not today.
Boy: Please? With sugar on top?
Me: No.
Girl: Well at least he was trying.

Girl: I don’t know what to do now. I’m starting to feel boring.

Girl: I’m doing a survey. What did you bring in your lunch?
Me: Um crackers and cheese.
Girl: The answers are yes and no. What did you bring in your lunch?
Me: Uh…yes?
Girl: Perfect.

Girl: There are no boys allowed in the clubhouse except for N and A.
Me: Why just those two?
Girl: Well because they’re making good choices of course!

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4 thoughts on “Friday Field Notes: Licorice

  1. oh, how I love the innocence of your students’ conversations!
    High school goes more like this:

    girl student: I go to the bathroom miss?
    me: no, the bell just rang. you can start your work and ask me later
    girl: but I have to pee
    me: then you should have gone on your break
    girl: but its an emergency!
    me: is it?
    girl: I have menstrual cramps
    me: you can wait
    girl: but I have to get a drink
    me: you can wait
    girl: but I have to get something to eat, I’m diabetic
    me: are you?
    girl: no, but I’m hungry
    me: you can wait
    girl: but I need to make a phone call
    me: you can wait
    girl: but my mom needs to call me
    me: she can call the school
    girl:why won’t you let me go!!
    me: because I could hear your conversation from here about your plan to skip and go to Tim Hortons. I’m sitting 5 feet away from you.
    girl. oh….well, can I go?

  2. I was just thinking about you the other day Miss Michelle! I bet you do have some gems though. See, I post the funny ones, not the overly dramatic ten year olds who yell “YOU’RE HIDING YOUR RELATIONSHIP UNDER A BLANKET OF LIES!”

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