Facial Hair 202

Remember that time I wrote about eyebrow grooming for men? You know how it was short and sweet and really straight to the point? Now do you remember how I wrote about eyebrow grooming for women? You know how that post was long and complicated? Of course you remember.

Well the tables are turning, internets. This one is for the ladies, but men I think you better stick with me on this one.

Facial Hair 202: MUSTACHES (for ladies)

I know, right? Ladies don’t have mustaches. Or at least they shouldn’t. It’s very unappealing. I don’t want to go into any more details, but just….no. Ladies, there is only one important rule when it comes to your upper lip fuzzy wuzzy: GET RID OF IT.

Pluck it, wax it, use that Nair crap, get electrolysis. I don’t care what you do, just do something. There is an entire aisle at the drugstore dedicated to hair removal. CHOOSE SOMETHING AND USE IT. It seems easy enough, but there is one danger I need to inform you of. In that very same aisle of hair removal glory, there is a very deceitful product.

Bleach.

Yes, it will dye your facial hair blonde. But guess what? A blonde mustache is STILL A MUSTACHE. Do not fall into the trap of “if it’s blonde, no one will see it!” It’s a lie. A very big fat furry lie.

Please follow this advice. For the good of us all.

Ladies: You’re welcome.

Gentlemen: CAN I GET AN AMEN?!

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