>Gems From The Basement: Marriage

>It is time for Gems From The Basement: The Marriage Edition.

The what?

The marriage edition.

Are you married? Are you unhappy even though you are married? Have you ever thought to yourself, “I really wish there was a way to be happy even though I’m married”. Well my friend, look no further. The answer is in my basement:


“But how do I know this is truly the right book for me? How can I trust the source? Just take a look at the back cover:


How could you not trust a couple as glowing and in love as that? Look at them gaze lovingly at each other. Him and his pointy collared shirt, her and her bedazzled blouse. It’s love! Even her hair screams, “I’m married! And I’m happy!” It’s a safe choice, I promise. It offers very modern and up to date advice about how to keep your spouse AND yourself happy. And look, it even includes cartoons:


“I’ve read books like this before though! They’re all the same! All they do is quote scripture and tell us to be pure.”

That’s where this book is different. Need to know what each part of the male and female anatomy is called? This book has it. Need to know what each part of the male and female anatomy looks like? This book has diagrams. Need to know the differences between males and females? This book includes helpful charts like this one:


Your days of boring married sex are over. No more asking, “Am I doing this right?” or “What is this little thinger called?” or “Explain that slow cooker/microwave analogy to me again?” It is all laid out very clearly in this book. With scripture!

Finally. An answer to your life’s biggest question.

Stay tuned for Gems From the Basement: Happy Homemaking.


10 thoughts on “>Gems From The Basement: Marriage

  1. >"What is this little thinger* called again?"If I ever get married, I hope I never, ever hear those words come out of my wife's mouth…Also, it looks like you fixed your formatting issues. Nice.*Submitted for your amusement, apparently "thinger" autocorrects to "thonged" on my iPhone.

  2. >YES! I did fix my formatting issues. Thanks for the advice!I really hope those words don't come out of your mouth or your wife's mouth.Also. I love damnyouautocorrect.com more than any other site right now. Thank you for your contribution.

  3. >That is definitely one if my fave sites as well. Gotta be careful where I read it though as I almost busted out laughing at my cubicle at work once. That could have gotten a bit awkward… :)

  4. >Also, I believe it was with a book similar to this that I got "the talk". My parents never actually talked to me, but they left this book out in plain sight where a curious 12 year old voracious reader would find it and hopefully read it thus saving mom and dad the embarrassment of having to say the names of the baby makin' parts out loud.Also, they made me take Health Class. It doesn't get much more awkward than listening to your gym teacher explain the difference between chlamydia and gonorrhea in detail.

  5. >Oh, I thought you might have been referring to the deleted by author comment in which case I was gonna claim my 5 bucks as that one was me. I get a little OCD about typos on occasion and since blogger doesn't have an edit button, I had to copy the old comment, delete it and then paste and fix it in the new comment. Which us probably way more than you wanted to know… :D

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