>Stunned Silence

>I promised myself that I wasn’t going to post today, but then I came across something that I had to blog about. I don’t even know how to preface this.

Watch this video:

I’m sorry, WHAT? Is this a joke? This is a parody, right? Semi-homemade cooking? It must be a joke. It’s a pretty good one too! I mean come on! Take a look at this piece of fine comedy:

Haha, oh Sandra Lee, you’re a funny lady. You’re doing that on purpose. A cake for Kwanzaa. With pumpkin seeds and huge ugly candles. Oh ho ho, too funny. What? You mean there is MORE? WOW!!!!

Who are the geniuses behind this comedy? Google google.

Wait.

What?

This…?

I…ummmm.

Uh..

Look at this.

Yeah.

Hold on.

You mean to tell me that this is real? These aren’t just genius sketches? She has a show? And all she does is ICE STORE BOUGHT CAKES? You mean to tell me that the average person needs a SHOW to tell them these things? Has our culture turned so much to convenience that we need step by step instructions on how to spread one thing onto another thing? Can we really not accomplish this task independently? Whoa whoa, and the ICE CREAM POTATO??!!! That’s real too? You made a vegetable out of ice cream? No. No one will eat that. It’s weird. I don’t care if it tastes delicious, it looks like it should taste like a different kind of delicious. Have you ever tried eating straight up cocoa powder? That crap is nasty. That’s not  how you treat ice cream! That. Uh. I see there are many more videos. There has to be, because it’s on the FOOD NETWORK. WHAT? I’m just…I don’t even know what to do. I…..wow.

If I keep thinking about this I’m going to be huddled in a corner humming God Bless America soon. And I’m Canadian. There is only one thing that can save this post.

The Bean.

This picture just screams: “Hiiiii Aunt Tootie!”
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9 thoughts on “>Stunned Silence

  1. >You just need to hush, Hater. Her special on proper toast buttering was LIFE CHANGING!!! I'm going to get a DVR just so I can record her Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwichstravaganza next week.

  2. >Un-freakin' believable!! How pathetic!!Hmmmm..I feel like tea but wait, I need to find one of her shows that teaches how to boil water! But first there must be a show how to turn the knobs on the stove. I want a cooking show. I can put marshmallows in the middle of a cake too. It could be the Mama & Tootie Bast cooking school………

  3. >Sandra Lee has saved my life! I was lost trying to find my way around the kitchen before she showed me the light! Her episode on proper ice cube tray management was a real eye opener. You FILL them BEFORE you put them in the freezer! Sheer genius! And her tip on using the wet paper towel to clean the cake plate…wow! where does she come up with these ideas? I'm in awe.

  4. >I like her bio:"An internationally-acclaimed home and style expert, Sandra Lee's trademark 70/30 Semi-Homemade philosophy combines 70% ready-made products with 30% fresh, giving everyone the confidence to create food that looks and tastes from scratch."Really Sandra? Did you fail at percentages, because I am lost on the 30% fresh part. Given, I'm not good at math. Nor has anyone given me a TV show to highlight my ability to go to the grocery store and combine similar products.

  5. >those cakes were probably the ugliest creations I've ever seen!! I can't believe all she did was ice a store-bought cake with store-bought icing and that counts as "cooking"! She reminds me of those rich socialite housewives who sit around painting their nails all day, but are trying to prove to their husbands that they are still competent in some way. I also noticed her bio said she "attended" the Cordon Bleu…but did she actually graduate??

  6. >wait her Hanukkah cake has marshmallows crammed in the middle, those are made with gelatin, gelatin is made with pork, pork is not allowed in Jewish diets, her cake isn't kosher, no one could eat it, lucky them…

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